you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
