I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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