i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
