My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
