so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
