it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
