Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
