we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
