I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
