How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
