So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
