I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
