the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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