when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
