This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
