Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
