I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
