It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
