you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
