I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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