You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
