She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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