I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
