Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
