i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
