we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
