If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
