We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can feel your judgement through the phone
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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