So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
