god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
