Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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