I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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