? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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