Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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