dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
