just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
