after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
