Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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