I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
