so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
