ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
