No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
