I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
