It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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