Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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