bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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