It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
