Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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