You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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