life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
